I am trying to figure out if I have O.C.D. (Obsessions Created by Dachshunds) or A.D.D. (Addicted to Dachshunds Disorder)!!!
The Dachshund Snow Song (Sung to "LET IT SNOW")
Oh, the weather outside is awful and it should be quite unlawful to make a poor dachsie go IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW!
It doesn't show signs of stoppin' so it means that I'll be hoppin' cause my tummy is way too low-O IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW!
When I finally get inside I'm all tired and wet and beat So in the bed I want to hide and only come out for a treat!
Oh the snow is all I'm seein' How I wish I could be peein' Anywhere else I'll go but IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW! IN THE SNOW!
Do you suppose if two dachshunds = a paradox, would four swimming dachshunds = "a-quad-dox?"
"Daddy is all mine!"
The following has been posted very low on our refrigerator door....
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why it is called 'fur'-niture. (3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly, but I can still understand them.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2) don't ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when called, (5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people, (7) don't smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy the latest fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children!
Some of the girls, breaking in a new kennel-helper!
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'Danielle keeps repeating it over and over again. We've been back to this animal shelter at least five times. It has been weeks now since we started all of this,' the mother told the volunteer.
'What is it she keeps asking for?' the volunteer asked. 'Puppy size!' replied the mother.
'Well, we have plenty of puppies, if that's what she's looking for..' 'I know..... We have seen most of them, ' the mom said in frustration...
Just then Danielle came walking into the office.
'Well, did you find one?' asked her mom.
'No, not this time,' Danielle said with sadness in her voice. 'Can we come back on the weekend?'
The two women looked at each other, shook their heads and laughed
'You never know when we will get more dogs. Unfortunately, there's always a supply,' the volunteer said.
Danielle took her mother by the hand and headed to the door. 'Don't worry, I'll find one this weekend,' she said.
Over the next few days both Mom and Dad had long conversations with her. They both felt she was being too particular. 'It's this weekend or we're not looking any more,' Dad finally said in frustration.
'We don't want to hear anything more about puppy size, either,' Mom added.
Sure enough, they were the first ones in the shelter on Saturday morning . By now Danielle knew her way around, so she ran right for the section that housed the smaller dogs.
Tired of the routine, Mom sat in the small waiting room at the end of the first row of cages. There was an observation window so you could see the animals during times when visitors weren't permitted.
Danielle walked slowly from cage to cage, kneeling periodically to take a closer look. One by one the dogs were brought out and she held each one. One by one she said, 'Sorry, but you're not the one.'
It was the last cage on this last day in search of the perfect pup. The volunteer opened the cage door and the child carefully picked up the dog and held it closely. This time she took a little longer.
'Mom, that's it! I found the right puppy! He's the one! I know it!' She screamed with joy. 'It's the puppy size!'
'But it's the same size as all the other puppies you held over the last few weeks,' Mom said.
'No, not size... The sighs. When I held him in my arms, he sighed,' she said. 'Don't you remember? When I asked you one day what love is, you told me love depends on the sighs of your heart. The more you love, the bigger the sigh!'
The two women looked at each other for a moment. Mom didn't know whether to laugh or cry. As she stooped down to hug the child, she did a little of both.
'Mom, every time you hold me, I sigh. When you and Daddy come home from work and hug each other, you both sigh. I knew I would find the right puppy if it sighed when I held it in my arms,' she said. Then, holding the puppy up close to her face, she said, 'Mom, he loves me. I heard the sighs of his heart!'
Close your eyes for a moment and think about the love that makes you sigh. I not only find it in the arms of my loved ones, but in the caress of a sunset, the kiss of the moonlight and the gentle brush of cool air on a hot day... They are the sighs of God. Take the time to stop and listen; you will be surprised at what you hear.
Yeah, but he always loses to the cat. When he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.
You have just one more wish. Are you sure you want another belly-rub?
Like me? Are you kidding? They collect my poop!
One of our customers sent us this picture of his dachshund, Slinky, running in a 2010 wienerdog race at Golden Gate Fields Racetrack, Bay Area, California. That looks like a happy dachshund - ahead by at least a couple of lengths - and a dachshund goes to greater lengths than most!
Thanks a lot, Jeff! We hope your new Tracy & Harley daughter wins all her races, too!
Rejected by one mother and left orphaned by another, an adorable tiger cub finally finds a mother in a 1-year-old dog. By Laura Moss Mon, Dec 12 2011 at 1:16 PM EST
Bessi the dachshund with tiger cub at Stroehen Zoo. Photo: Snapshot from video
This tiger cub, which was born at Germany’s Stroehen Zoo in 2009, experienced tragedy at a very young age when it lost not one, but two mother figures. The female cub was rejected by its mother shortly after birth, but it was soon adopted by Monster, a 9-year-old wirehaired [male] dachshund that belonged to the zoo’s owner, Almuth Ismer.
Monster took to the cub instantly, showing great affection for the baby tiger that was twice his size. Unfortunately, Monster died unexpectedly and the cub was left an orphan once again.
Luckily, a month after Monster’s death, his 1-year-old daughter, Bessi, took over his parenting duties. Zookeepers say Bessi completely “fell in love” with the cub and became its guardian. While it’s not uncommon for dogs to adopt and raise animals of other species, it is unusual for a dog as young as Bessi to develop maternal instincts.
Check out these heartwarming photos of Bessi the caring canine and her adopted feline daughter.
Didn't I tell you, this is a simply amazing dachshund?????
We also raise and offer you our simply amazing dachshunds - please come visit and let one adopt YOU for its very own!
When engineers own dogs... or, how to keep your dachshund well exercised when you can't be home with him! Some training may be required...